Connecticut Catholic Church Offers Judgment to Single Mothers as Community Service
By
The Onion Staff
Day-old at best. Try it dunked in something stronger.
Summary
A Catholic church in Danbury, Connecticut announces it is opening its doors to single mothers in need of judgment, offering disapproving looks and critical sneers to divorcées and unwed mothers as a form of 'service' to vulnerable community members.
Key quotes
· 4 pulledTimes are tough right now, but we want divorcées and unwed moms to know they can rely on the church to cast doubt on their way of life
priests and nuns would be available around the clock to provide a disapproving 'hmmm,' a raised eyebrow, or a critical sneer to any single mothers struggling to get by
opening its doors to any single mothers in need of judgment
Emphasizing the local parish's dedication to serving its most vulnerable community members
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