A Fly, a Butter Knife, and a Pun-Filled Kitchen Tale

Image by Tyler Scagliarini I was in the living room, living, when I saw an airborne butter knife. “Jesus!” I yelled, “why is there a knife levitating in my kitchen?” It turns out that a fly was lifting the butter knife Superman-style. Meanwhile, my stick of butter contemplated its flying abilities, so the fly dropped the knife and landed on the butter, evolving into a butterfly! Together my butter and a fly became a butterfly making a butter knife fly, becoming a butterfly knife, and now I have to eat margarine. I live with my Aunt named Marge, so when I left a note on the fridge saying “Margarine away,” she read it as “marge-I-ran-away.” I obviously didn’t run away, I just moved to Iran. People in Iran are lactose-intolerant, so now I have to eat this stuff called “I can’t believe it’s not butter.” I hate butter rip-offs, so I ripped off the label, reverting it back to regular butter. “We see what we believe, not the other way around.” — V.M. Varga, Fargo Season 3