The Normalcy of Ambivalence: Why Not Knowing If You Want Kids Is Okay
By
Amil Niazi
Summary
Parenting columnist Amil Niazi responds to a 32-year-old woman who feels ambivalent about having children, never feeling a strong pull toward or aversion to motherhood. Niazi explores how societal pressure and the "ticking clock" narrative create anxiety for those who are undecided, arguing that ambivalence is a normal and valid position. She shares her own experience of being unsure until she became pregnant, and emphasizes that not having a definitive answer about wanting kids is okay — that many people don't truly know until the decision is made for them or they simply live into it.
Source
Key quotes
· 5 pulled'I’m a 32-year-old woman who has never felt either a particular pull or a particular aversion to having kids.'
'The truth is, for plenty of us, we didn’t know our own decision until it was already made.'
'There is no right way to feel about having children, and there is no wrong way either.'
'The pressure to have a definitive answer about something so life-altering is a modern invention that does more harm than good.'
'Ambivalence isn't a failure to decide — it's a perfectly reasonable response to one of the biggest questions a person can face.'
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