Assistant Tragically Dies Working for Xander the Magnificent
By
The Onion Staff
Yesterday's bagel. Skim it, don't savour it.
Summary
Tina Webb, 25, tragically died after being the fifth assistant that Xander the Magnificent has lost in recent weeks.
Key quotes
· 1 pulledTina Webb, 25, died Saturday night, becoming the fifth assistant that Xander the Magnificent has burned through in as many weeks.
You might also wanna read
Richard Glossip on Life After 30 Years on Death Row: Adjusting to Freedom
Richard Glossip, who spent nearly 30 years on death row in Oklahoma for a murder he maintains he did not commit, describes his transition to
theintercept.com·21m ago
Rachel Nickell's son Alex Hanscombe reflects on witnessing mother's 1992 murder and its lifelong impact
Alex Hanscombe, the son of Rachel Nickell who was murdered on Wimbledon Common in 1992 when he was just two years old, speaks about the last
mirror.co.uk·1d ago
Lightning Strike Kills 19 Cows in Ratanakiri; Authorities Warn Farmers of Rainy Season Dangers
A lightning strike in Lumphat district, Ratanakiri Province, killed 19 cows during the rainy season. Authorities have issued a warning urgin
kiripost.com·2d ago
Unemployed 24-year-old shares frustration after 100+ job applications yield no responses amid rising youth unemployment
A 24-year-old named Rhys O'Flynn from Essex shares his exhausting experience of being unemployed for over a year after being laid off at 19.
mirror.co.uk·2d ago
Muere un galgo abandonado en un coche a 46 grados en Calahorra; identifican al presunto responsable
La Policía Local de Calahorra y el SEPRONA de la Guardia Civil han esclarecido la muerte de un galgo que falleció tras permanecer encerrado
eldiario.es·2d ago
Personal Newsletter: Coping with Overwhelming News Through a Simple Rating Technique
A personal newsletter entry reflecting on a short, difficult week filled with distressing global news (European heat dome, Ebola in Central
buttondown.com·3d ago