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coworker is making me uncomfortable, internet age-verification requirements at work, and more
It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker is making me uncomfortable A few years ago, my colleague Fergus joined the team I’m on. At that time, I was an assistant so I made myself useful by being friendly and helping him get settled. We were in different parts of the […] The post coworker is making me uncomfortable, internet age-verific
new tags!
We now have three new tags for posts: medical issues and work (with 137 posts in it as of today) pregnancy (94 posts) neurodivergence at work (21 posts) (Other tags you may find interesting include dogs, bears, wildlife, magic, ADA, advice for new managers, sagas, and AAM classics.) The post new tags! appeared first on Ask a Manager .
how soon can you tell if someone isn’t cut out for the job?
A reader writes: My organization has to go through a long, complicated rigamarole to get a position approved, followed by multiple steps to interview and hire a new employee. From the day a staffer leaves to when we get a replacement typically takes anywhere from two months to a year. To boot, there are times […] The post how soon can you tell if someone isn
times you should have stopped reading something … but didn’t
A reader writes: The question earlier this year from the person whose coworker found full transcripts of their manager’s coaching sessions on a public drive had me thinking about two times I stumbled across something I shouldn’t have seen but did. And didn’t stop reading. Can we discuss this? We can indeed. Let’s discuss times […] The post times you should h
toxic employee can’t be managed, boss thinks my timecards are too consistent, and more
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My toxic employee can’t be managed Our organization is undergoing process standardization and establishing workflows, including transitioning an area of work from Mavis, a senior colleague, to Tiffany, a newer team member. Unfortunately, this transition has highlighted significant behavioral issues. Mavis u
my boss thinks I’m overly delicate about my health
A reader writes: Between November of last year and February or March of this year, I had to go home from work three times with a migraine. I’ve also had two days off with stress, in January and February (and my boss knows it was for stress). I have had migraines since I was seven, […] The post my boss thinks I’m overly delicate about my health appeared first
as a manager, how can I stop saying “we” when I mean “you”?
A reader writes: I am a manager who was promoted from an expert-level individual contributor several years ago. In a recent one-on-one, my boss pointed out that I use “we” to soften direction when I should use “you,” fairly often. “We need to look at this problem and understand how it happened and how to […] The post as a manager, how can I stop saying “we”
updates: the fist-bumping boss, the internship mishap, and more
Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. My boss shakes hands with men, but fist-bumps with women You answered my question about my manager who insisted on fist bumping women. There wasn’t an opportunity for me to bring it up, but over time I noticed that he was fist bumping everyone instead of shaking […] The post updates: the fist-bumping boss,
including my cats in my business messaging, talking to an employee’s mother while they’re on medical leave, and more
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Talking about my cats in my business messaging I’m a long time reader with a low-stakes question you’re uniquely qualified to answer. I own my own one-person business, primarily providing tech education for professionals and hobbyists in a niche industry. It’s very public-facing. I’m also […] The post inclu
working remotely didn’t prove everyone can work remotely all the time
I keep seeing people — here and elsewhere — claim that the pandemic showed that working from home is viable for the majority of office jobs. I’m a big fan of remote work but I’ve got to say: it didn’t, and it’s not. The pandemic did show that remote work was viable for a lot […] The post working remotely didn’t prove everyone can work remotely all the time a
the coworker training me for my new job is incredibly negative (and not really training me)
A reader writes: I just started a new executive assistant job and am still in my probation period. My predecessor, Kyle, is transitioning soon to a new role within the company. My interactions with him have been strange and uncomfortable, and I’m trying to figure out if this rises to a level that needs flagging […] The post the coworker training me for my ne
how do I warn a hothead I’m on the verge of firing him?
A reader writes: I am a GM for a small gym franchise. I have an employee who is a personal trainer. We spoken several times about professionalism and his behavior. Examples: * Getting confrontational and yelling when members don’t put their weights back. * Making fun of inexperienced lifters. * Laughing when a member was […] The post how do I warn a hothead
we complained about our boss but nothing changed, I don’t want to buy my boss a gift, and more
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. We complained about our boss, but nothing has changed Two months ago, three coworkers and I went to my grandboss and HR about my boss, Alexis, for a culmination of issues including: hostility towards others in both email and in-person (Alexis is notorious in our […] The post we complained about our boss but
employee parked in parking lot outside of work hours — and it’s costing us money
A reader writes: I am the plant manager of a small manufacturing company. Production hours are 10-hour days, Monday-Thursday. The office works Monday-Friday 7:30-4. There should be no reason any employees should be in our parking lot on a Saturday. Last Saturday, the parking lot was restriped and the disabled parking spots repainted. No general […] The post
someone sent us racy photos of our employee
A reader writes: Today my office received an email from an address we don’t recognize about a young, relatively junior female member of our staff. It contained screenshots of her on an app that allows you to make money by livestreaming. The screenshots are racy but not obscene. The email said the employee mentioned our […] The post someone sent us racy photo
do I have to move an employee to a job he’s not qualified for or give him a pay cut?
A reader writes: I inherited a new team recently. One team member, Tom, was hired for a role that is rather unique for our business line’s structure, and as a result of this, there is no direct career path for him. He has been vocal about wanting career growth, but our HR team has advised […] The post do I have to move an employee to a job he’s not qualified
coworkers stopped talking to me after I mentioned my wife, should I hug my coworker goodbye, and more
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Two coworkers stopped talking to me after I mentioned my wife I’m a man who is friendly and open at the workplace, I like to discuss any and all (safe for work) subjects with my coworkers, and I strive to treat men and women the […] The post coworkers stopped talking to me after I mentioned my wife, should
weekend open thread – July 11-12, 2026
This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Daughter of Auschwitz, by Tova Friedman. One of the youngest children to survive Auschwitz tells her and her family’s story before, during, […] The post weeke
open thread – July 10, 2026
It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […] The post open thread – July 10, 2026 appeared first on
co-op student is now our manager, do executives never get real time off, and more
It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Co-op student is now our manager My department’s gone through a bit of restructuring when it comes to team leadership (in a few years, we’ve gone through three managers to reporting to a director). We’ve received news that we’re going to have a manager again […] The post co-op student is now our manager, do