Satirical News Roundup: Absurd Headlines and Dark Comedy Snippets
By
The Onion Staff
18d ago· 5 min readen
100/100
Golden Brown
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Summary
A collection of satirical headlines and absurd news snippets, presented in a cartoon/newswire format. Topics range from a bank getting a house in a divorce, a man wanting to scream about not having toenail fungus at an algorithm, a drunk man looking for a lifelong partner in a bar, and other humorous, nonsensical, or darkly comedic one-liners. The piece is clearly parody/satire, not serious journalism.
Key quotes
· 5 pulledBank Gets House In Divorce
Man Wants To Find Algorithm, Scream 'I Don't Have Toenail Fungus' At It
Drunk Man Casts Eye Around Bar For Someone To Cherish, Hold, Spend Rest Of Life With
Foolhardy Scratch-Off Ticket Offers Absurd 6 Ways To Win
Couple Married For 50 Years Dies Only 10 Rotations Of Helicopter Bl
Cartoons