Virgo Horoscope: Advice to Call the Ancient Stars More Often
By
The Onion Staff
The kind of bagel you'd toss to the pigeons.
Summary
The content appears to be a horoscope or astrological advice for Virgo (August 23-September 22), suggesting that Virgos should call the stars more often since they are ancient and getting older. The title mentioning Trump and political violence seems completely unrelated to the actual content, suggesting this may be a mismatched or erroneous article.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledThe stars are a trillion years old and are only getting older
so it would be nice if you called them more often
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