Upcoming Changes to TSA Security Rules by Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem
By
The Onion Staff
Even the toaster can't save this one.
Summary
Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem hints at upcoming changes to TSA security rules, including thanking white couples with white children, ridiculing bad driver's license photos, allowing unpasteurized milk, segregating Muslim travelers, and limiting carry-on guns to quart-sized Ziploc bags.
Key quotes
· 5 pulledAgents will personally thank white couples traveling with white children.
Mandatory ridiculing of bad driver’s license photos.
Any quantity of unpasteurized milk is okay to bring through.
Muslim travelers must be placed in separate bins.
Quart-sized Ziploc bag limit for carry-on guns
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