Unimpressive Flower Girl Walks Down Aisle Without Charm
By
The Onion Staff
Hard to chew. Probably not worth the jaw work.
Summary
A 3-year-old flower girl at a family wedding fails to impress guests with her lack of charm and childlike antics while walking down the aisle.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledSure, she did her job, but she utterly failed to delight us with any adorable toddling, spinning, or other childlike antics that would have really made her shine.
The entire audience watched stone-faced as the child calmly completed her assigned task instead of accidentally dropping her bouquet.
You might also wanna read
The Overwhelming Presence of Ads in Everyday Life
A satirical/opinion piece expressing frustration with the overwhelming presence of advertisements in modern life — from phone apps and radio
blog.absurdpirate.com·16h agoHoróscopo de junio de 2026: predicciones para todos los signos del zodiaco
Horoscope predictions for all zodiac signs for June 2026, highlighting the influence of Mercury on communication and relationships, and a po
Horóscopo del 30 de mayo de 2026: Predicciones diarias para los 12 signos zodiacales
Daily horoscope predictions for May 30, 2026, covering love, money, and work for all 12 zodiac signs (Aries through Pisces). The article pro
A Former Intern Recalls Bombing While Standing In for Stephen Colbert on The Late Show
A personal essay from a former intern who filled in for Stephen Colbert on "The Late Show" in 2017, recounting the experience of bombing on
Horóscopo del viernes 29 de mayo de 2026: predicciones en amor, trabajo y negocios para cada signo
This is a daily horoscope article for Friday, May 29, 2026, providing astrological predictions for each zodiac sign. It covers predictions r
Influenciadora Edi Ribeiro usa humor para promover autoestima e amor próprio entre mulheres
Edi Ribeiro, uma influenciadora cearense com mais de 5 milhões de seguidores, usa humor e autenticidade para promover autoestima e amor próp
