The Onion Satirizes Fictional White House UFC Event with Absurd Statistics
By
The Onion Staff
Even the toaster can't save this one.
Summary
A satirical article from The Onion humorously reports on the fictional "UFC Freedom 250" event being hosted at the White House on President Trump's 80th birthday. It presents absurd "facts and figures" about the event, including the cost of restoring Thomas Jefferson's Octagon, mentions of mixed martial arts in the Bill of Rights, and other ridiculous statistics, all in classic Onion parody style.
Key quotes
· 5 pulled$1.2 million Cost of restoring Thomas Jefferson's original Octagon
5 Drinks before shirtless Pete Hegseth tries to join fight
7 Times mixed martial arts mentioned in Bill of Rights
.001% Likelihood fighter walks out to the theme from Will And Grace
13 Average ring girl age
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