All Topics
All Topics
Technology
Technology
Design
Design
Programming
Programming
Science
Science
News
News
Gaming
Gaming
Entertainment
Entertainment
Business
Business
Finance
Finance
Sports
Sports
Health
Health
Food
Food
Travel
Travel
Art
Art
Music
Music
Books
Books
Education
Education
Politics
Politics
Personal
Personal
No algorithm. No AI slop. No ads. Just RSS. Pro-human. Indie writers. Real journalism. Open web. Chronological. Hand toasted.

The Financial Reality of Modern Wedding Planning

By

The Onion Staff

8mo ago· 5 min readenOpinion

Summary

A humorous personal essay about the author's experience with the exorbitant costs of planning their daughter's wedding. The author uses witty wordplay and exaggerated financial distress to describe the sticker shock of modern wedding expenses, from venue costs to catering and other traditional wedding elements.

Key quotes

· 4 pulled
After 28 long years, one of my daughters has found her Mr. Right and they're headed down the aisle...and I'm headed into bankruptcy!
That's right, my little girl has finally found 'The One.' Unfortunately, this One is followed by three Zeros
My dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of this man and this woman...and this empty wallet and this wiped-out checking account
Ding-dong, loyal readers! Wedding bells are ringing around the Dudek household. (Or maybe that's the cha-ching of the cash register.)
Snippet from the RSS feed
My dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of this man and this woman…and this empty wallet and this wiped-out checking account…in the bonds of holy moly, this wedding is expensive ! Ding-dong, loyal readers! Wedding bells are ri

You might also wanna read