Study Reports Minimal Shovel-Related Violence in the U.S.
By
The Onion Staff
Good intentions, undercooked execution. The bake is missing.
Summary
A study by Johns Hopkins School of Public Health reveals a surprisingly low incidence of shovel-related violence in the U.S., despite widespread shovel ownership. The research highlights rare reports of shovels being used in violent acts, even during peak winter seasons.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledDespite high levels of shovel ownership in the United States, what we are seeing is an encouragingly low number of violent incidents involving spades or round-point shovels.
Reports of the tool’s use in smackings, wallopings, and bonkings remained rare.
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