Stagehand Rushes Out To Bring Bruno Mars Different Pelvis For Slow Song
By
The Onion Staff
Kettled twice. Extra chewy, extra trustworthy.
Summary
A satirical article from The Onion about a stagehand rushing out to bring Bruno Mars a different pelvis for a slow song, parodying the absurdity of live concert production and the over-the-top nature of pop performances.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled'We need the romantic pelvis, stat!' shouted the stagehand, already sprinting toward the wings.
'You can't do 'When I Was Your Man' with the 'Uptown Funk' pelvis—that's just amateur hour.'
'I've been working here for six years, and I've never seen a pelvis swap go this smoothly.'
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