Satirical Take on NASA's Artemis II Mission Statistics
By
The Onion Staff
A reheated bagel, served cold.
Summary
The article presents a satirical look at NASA's Artemis II mission through humorous 'facts and figures' that parody space mission statistics. It includes absurd metrics like a '15 mph speed limit in moon zone,' the cost of a Coke from the capsule's minibar, and crimes committed in space not subject to Earth laws. The content is clearly satirical rather than factual reporting on the actual mission.
Key quotes
· 4 pulled15 mph - Speed limit in moon zone
$12 - Cost of single can of Coke from space capsule's onboard minibar
4.2 billion - People on Earth who accidentally blinked during the taking of new planetary photos
15 - Crimes committed in capsule not subject to Earth laws
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