Satirical Statistics on Thanksgiving Travel Trends
By
The Onion Staff
Lacks bite. And filling. And a copy-editor at the bakery.
Summary
The article presents satirical statistics about Thanksgiving travel, mocking common holiday travel experiences through exaggerated numbers and absurd scenarios. It includes fictional data points like wasted airline miles for flights to Ohio, absurd carry-on turkey allowances, and ridiculous justifications for using carpool lanes.
Key quotes
· 4 pulled60,000 Redeemed airline miles wasted on round-trip flight to Ohio
4 a.m. Time aunt is serving dinner this year so nobody hits traffic
158 lbs Minimum amount of turkey needed in vehicle to justify using the carpool lane
3.375 Terabytes of data used by mothers reminding their adult sons to pack a nice sweater
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