Satirical Report: Verizon Customer Service Claims Calls Monitored for Executive Amusement

Summary

Verizon's customer service line now informs callers that their conversations will be monitored for the company's sadistic amusement, with an automated message stating that by staying on the line, customers consent to being mocked by executives who laugh maniacally while drinking expensive scotch. The message sarcastically assures customers their call is important while describing how executives will ridicule their pleas to speak to a human representative.