Satirical Report: Financial Advisors Jokingly Recommend Throwing Away Unopened Bills
By
The Onion Staff
There's a fresh bagel in here somewhere. We couldn't find it.
Summary
A satirical article reporting that financial advisors from Goldman Sachs are recommending people throw away unopened bills as an 'effective solution' to economic hardship, claiming this strategy helps reduce debt by forgetting bills exist.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"It's easy to feel overwhelmed by invoices piling up—those things are the worst—so just get rid of them"
"this approach to financial planning was used by many high-net-worth individuals to reduce debt right away by forgetting the bill ever existed"
"As soon as you see an envelope reading 'notice, final warning' just immediately toss it"
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