Satirical Report Claims Epstein Files Show Deepak Chopra Lost on Little St. James Island
By
The Onion Staff
Crackles when you bite it. Shows the baker did the work.
Summary
The article satirically reports that newly released Epstein files allegedly reveal Deepak Chopra has been lost on Little St. James Island for years, wandering deliriously and sending desperate emails for help. The piece uses dark humor to mock both the Epstein scandal and Chopra's alternative medicine persona.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledFrom what we can gather, Chopra has been deliriously wandering the now largely uninhabited Epstein Island for years, crying out for food and forbidden eros
Amid shocking materials that include a photo in which the word 'HELP' has been spelled out with rocks, seaweed, and several stuffed animals
a newly released tranche of Epstein files revealed Friday that Deepak Chopra was still lost on the private island of Little St. James
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