Satirical Report: Charli XCX and George Daniel Allegedly Cut Cocaine at Wedding Ceremony
By
The Onion Staff
8mo ago· 1 min readen
38/100
Stale
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A reheated bagel, served cold.
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Summary
A satirical article reporting that pop star Charli XCX and her new husband George Daniel gathered wedding guests to ceremoniously cut a pile of cocaine during their wedding celebration in Sicily. The piece describes the couple performing the ritual together with a credit card while guests applaud and comment on the scene.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"Wow, just look at that thing—it's gorgeous," said wedding guest Lucy Rumsey
"Aw, look at the two of them. You can tell it's the happiest day of their lives."
"The photos are going to be so cute. I told myself I wasn't going to have any, but now that I see how bea"
SCOPELLO, SICILY—Beaming before the elegant pile of white powder, Charli XCX and her new husband George Daniel reportedly gathered their wedding guests together Sunday to cut the cocaine. “Wow, just look at that thing—it’s gorgeous,” said wedding guest Lu
