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Satirical Q&A: The Onion's Humorous Take on Euphoria Season 3

The Onion Staff

1mo ago· 1 min readen

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Summary

The article is a satirical piece from The Onion about the upcoming third and final season of HBO's Euphoria. It presents a humorous Q&A format with absurd answers about the show's return, including that none of the cast is willingly returning, the season will be 94 episodes long to make up for lost time, and characters have outrageous new occupations like Cassie launching an OnlyFans, Jules working as a sugar baby, Nate as a gigolo, Maddy as a human footstool, and Rue as a high-end glory hole owner.

Key quotes

· 3 pulled

Willingly, none of them.

This season will make up for lost time by being 94 episodes long.

Cassie is launching an OnlyFans, Jules is working as a sugar baby, Nate is a gigolo, Maddy is a human footstool, and Rue is a high-end glory hole owner.

Snippet from the RSS feed

After leaving fans waiting for more than four years, Euphoria is back for its third and final season. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the HBO drama. Q: Which members of the cast are returning? A: Willingly, none of them. Q: How many epi

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