Satirical Poll Claims 'Jacked Centaur' is Most Desired Romantic Partner Quality
By
The Onion Staff
Needed another two minutes in the oven. A half-baked bagel.
Summary
A satirical poll from Monmouth University claims that being a 'jacked centaur' (half-man, half-horse with muscular physique) is the most desirable quality in a romantic partner, far surpassing traditional attributes like humor, kindness, or wealth. The survey reportedly sampled over 40,000 respondents who preferred this mythical hybrid creature over conventional partner traits.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"Among our sample of over 40,000 respondents, by far the most coveted trait in a potential significant other was being a half horse, half man with a totally shredded physique"
"the most desirable quality in a romantic partner was being a jacked centaur"
"With the attribute far outpacing characteristics such as humor, kindness, or wealth"
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