Satirical Article Depicts Jets Draft Pick Receiving Unsettling '7 Days' Phone Call From Young Girl
By
The Onion Staff
Hand-rolled, kettle-boiled, baked to perfection. Worth every minute at the bakery.
Summary
A satirical article from The Onion about the New York Jets' draft pick receiving a phone call from a young girl who hisses "7 days" at him, parodying the horror film The Ring. The piece humorously depicts the bizarre and unsettling welcome the new player receives from the team and its fans.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled'7 days,' hissed the little girl on the phone call welcoming the draft pick to the Jets.
'You will be a New York Jet in 7 days,' she said, her voice dripping with ominous certainty.
'I'm just excited to be a part of this organization,' said the draft pick, visibly shaken.
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