Satirical Article About 24-Hour Horror Movie Marathon Attended by Various Misfits
By
The Onion Staff
A baker's-dozen of insight crammed into one ring.
Summary
The article is a satirical piece from The Onion about a 24-hour horror movie marathon attended by various 'failures' in society. It features absurd, humorous vignettes about different characters and situations, including a mailman wanting to be chased, a wrong spray merely freshening an attacker, Chardonnay being vomited into an NPR tote, and the Harlem Globetrotters keeping basketball just out of reach of a Make-A-Wish kid. The main narrative follows local man Dan Wittman attending the Scare-O-Rama horror marathon alongside other societal misfits, highlighting the event's mix of cult classics and international films.
Key quotes
· 5 pulledMailman Strongly Hinting He Wants To Be Chased
Harlem Globetrotters Keep Basketball Just Out Of Reach Of Make-A-Wish Kid
Chardonnay Vomited Into NPR Tote
Everything Riding On Second Flush Attempt
Mom Reminds Adult Son
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