Satire: Rita Ora's Agent Celebrates Crossword Puzzle Clue as Major Booking
By
The Onion Staff
Hard to chew. Probably not worth the jaw work.
Summary
A satirical article about talent agent Jeremy Weinrib supposedly securing Rita Ora a placement in the New York Times crossword puzzle, with the clue "Competition TV judge songstress Rita." The piece humorously portrays the agent's exaggerated celebration of this minor pop culture reference as a major career achievement.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledTwo down, top left, that's all you baby.
I heard Will Shortz was looking for a three letter vowel-heavy pop culture reference, and I called him up and said 'Cancel all your other meetings, I've got just the gal.'
You might also wanna read
Dua Lipa and Callum Turner marry in intimate London civil ceremony
Dua Lipa and Callum Turner have officially married in a civil ceremony at the Old Marylebone Town Hall in London. The intimate event was cap

Kiki Gyan Documentary Selected for 2026 Locarno Open Doors Programme
The Locarno Open Doors programme has selected six projects from ten African countries for its 2026 edition, including a documentary feature
Mick Jagger Confirms Rolling Stones Will Tour Again, But Not This Year
Mick Jagger confirmed in a BBC Radio 2 interview that the Rolling Stones plan to tour again, though not in the current year. He expressed en
"search bar" by Yesterdayneverhappened: A Thrilling Cyberpunk-Inspired Electronic Album Review
A review of Yesterdayneverhappened's (producer Angel Day) second album "search bar," a 22-minute electronic suite blending breakcore, footwo
Boards of Canada's New Song "The World Becomes Flesh" Debuts in A24's Backrooms End Credits
Boards of Canada released their first album in 13 years, Inferno, and one of its unreleased tracks, "The World Becomes Flesh," was featured
AI-powered Ozzy Osbourne avatar being developed for global tour, starting in Birmingham
Two digital companies, Hyperreal and Proto Hologram, are developing an AI-powered avatar of Ozzy Osbourne that can perform, hold conversatio
