Multiple People Jabbed with Syringes at French Music Festival
By
The Onion Staff
Sesame, salt, and substance. A flagship bake.
Summary
Nearly 150 people were jabbed with syringes during a street music festival in France, leading to the arrest of at least 12 suspects.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"This was bound to happen in a country overrun by free healthcare." - Chantelle Luna, Systems Analyst
"Even worse, they jab on both cheeks in France." - Logan Armentrout, Pizza Courier
"Their criminals are so much more avant-garde." - Johnnie Peterman, Traveling Flutist
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