Man Struggles to Remove Elderly Woman's Scent from Car Hood After Accident
By
The Onion Staff
Has the shape of a bagel but none of the steam.
Summary
A man in San Francisco is frustrated that he cannot remove the distinctive scent of an 84-year-old woman from the hood of his car, despite hitting her two days ago and cleaning away blood and viscera. He has tried various cleaning methods including Febreze, but the powdery floral perfume scent persists and seems to be getting stronger.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledI hit her, like, two whole days ago—what gives?
I tried Febreze, but that barely did anything. It seems like it's getting worse every day.
Man, what is that perfume? It's like bug spray!
You might also wanna read
Collection of Absurdist Satirical Headlines and Surreal Observations
The article appears to be a collection of absurdist, satirical headlines and snippets that read like surreal news items or comedic observati
The Onion·2mo ago
Collection of Absurdist Satirical Headlines and Social Commentary
The article appears to be a collection of absurdist, satirical headlines and snippets that read like surreal news items or social commentary
The Onion·3mo ago
Absurdist Satirical Headlines Mock Modern Life and Media Tropes
The article appears to be a satirical or absurdist piece featuring disconnected, humorous headlines and vignettes that mock various aspects
The Onion·5mo ago
Satirical Vignettes Highlighting Modern Life's Absurdities
The article appears to be a collection of absurdist, satirical headlines and vignettes that mock modern life, societal norms, and human beha
The Onion·5mo ago
Satirical Headlines Collection: Absurdist Social Commentary and Humorous Scenarios
This appears to be a satirical or absurdist collection of humorous headlines and snippets that read like surreal news items or social commen
The Onion·6mo ago
Foreign Exchange Student Unaware He Is Being Bullied, Misinterprets Harassment as Friendliness
A satirical article from The Onion about a foreign exchange student named Davor Radogost who is being severely bullied by his classmates but
The Onion·27d ago