MacArthur 'Genius Grant' Awarded for 'Eatin' Shirt' Invention
By
The Onion Staff
Soft in all the wrong places. Take with a strong tea.
Summary
The MacArthur 'genius grant' has been awarded to Dale Huggins from Arkansas for his invention of the 'eatin' shirt' - an oversized T-shirt he wears during meals to protect his good clothes from stains. The $800,000 prize recognizes this practical solution to preventing food stains on nice clothing.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"All these stains you see here on my eatin' shirt are stains that would've otherwise ruined my nice shirt"
"pushed forward what was thought possible in the realm of everyday problem-solving"
"a big ol' shirt he puts on before supper so his good shirt doesn't get all dirty"
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