Libra Horoscope and Community Announcement: Widow Seeks New Relationships
By
The Onion Staff
There's a fresh bagel in here somewhere. We couldn't find it.
Summary
A brief horoscope for Libra (September 23-October 22) recommending capellini di mare with verdicchio wine and arugula salad, followed by an announcement from the widow of Leonard Hendrick, 66, stating that her husband has died and she is ready to move on and meet single men in the community.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledThe stars recommend the capellini di mare, paired with a delightfully crisp verdicchio and a tossed arugula salad.
The widow of the recently deceased Leonard Hendrick, 66, would like all single men in the community to know that her husband died and she is ready to move on.
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