Iowa Opens Emergency Cooling Stations for Mayo-Based Dishes
By
The Onion Staff
Best dunked in coffee. Better still, swap for a fresh one.
Summary
Iowa officials open emergency cooling stations to provide relief to mayo-based dishes during a heatwave.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledEffective immediately, we’re installing portable air-conditioners and power misters across the state to ensure our mayonnaise-filled salads make it through this heatwave safely.
John Benson, Emergency Management Director
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