Hummingbird Questions Life Choices After Observing Hawk's Effortless Flight
By
The Onion Staff
9mo ago· 1 min readen
38/100
Stale
Bagelometer↗
Hard to chew. Probably not worth the jaw work.
Score38TypesatireSentimentneutral
Summary
A humorous fictional account of a hummingbird experiencing an existential crisis after observing a hawk effortlessly gliding through the air. The hummingbird questions its high-energy lifestyle of constantly flapping its wings 80 times per second and consuming large amounts of nectar, feeling foolish compared to the hawk's efficient gliding technique.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"What the hell am I doing continuously flitting around like a complete maniac?"
"Fuck, I feel so stupid. I wouldn't need to eat so much nectar if I wasn't beating my wings 80 times per second like a total dip"
"my life would be so much easier if I simply let an air current carry me hundreds of miles and barely moved my goddamn wings at all"
SPRINGDALE, UT—Beating himself up over a lifetime of wasted energy, a local hummingbird confirmed Tuesday that he felt like a huge fucking idiot after he saw a hawk gliding above him with close to no effort all. “What the hell am I doing continuously flit
