HHS Secretary RFK Jr. Announces Scaling Back of Childhood Mortality Guidelines
By
The Onion Staff
A respectable bake. You'd come back tomorrow for another.
Summary
Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced he has scaled back the department's childhood mortality schedule, claiming the changes will empower Americans to make more informed decisions about family health. He argues that previous government guidelines were too strict about whether children should survive past infancy, and that parents deserve the right to choose whether their offspring die young from preventable diseases.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledFor too long, the U.S. government has imposed strict and unnecessary guidelines about whether or not our nation's children should survive past infancy
parents deserved the right to choose whether or not their offspring died at a young age of preventable disease
The truth is, no parent
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