Federal Hemp Ban Legislation Threatens Local Man's Hemp-Centric Lifestyle
By
The Onion Staff
Toasted just enough. A reliable bake, gently seasoned.
Summary
Industry leaders warn that a federal hemp ban provision in a government funding bill threatens the entire identity and lifestyle of Evan Brucker, a 32-year-old local man whose entire existence revolves around hemp products. The legislation, which aims to restrict hemp-derived synthetic cannabinoids, would eliminate up to 95% of Brucker's daily routines and lifestyle, from his morning CBD tea to hemp-seed-oil aromatherapy sessions.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledIndustry leaders warned Friday that the federal hemp ban threatened the overall identity of Evan Brucker, 32, a local guy whose whole deal pretty much begins and ends with hemp.
Congress may claim the provision only restricts the sale of hemp-derived synthetic cannabinoids, but in reality, this punitive legislation will wipe out up to 95% of Mr. Brucker's entire thing.
from his morning CBD tea routine to his hemp-seed-oil aromatherapy sessions.
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