Satire: Looksmaxxing Influencer Transforms Into Jawless Monster After Rating Elderly Woman's Looks
By
The Onion Staff
3d ago· 2 min readen
65/100
Toasty
Bagelometer↗
Lightly toasted, lightly seasoned, mostly correct.
Score65TypesatireSentimentneutral
Summary
A satirical article about internet personality Clavicular, a "looksmaxxing" influencer, who wakes up transformed into a hideous, jawless monster after rating an old crone's appearance a 4 out of 10 during a livestream. The piece humorously suggests the transformation was a vengeful act by the woman he judged.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledOh God, oh God—what has she done? I'm a monstrosity! I'm hideous!
Trembling as he held a hand mirror to his face to behold his ghastly new form
the formerly chisel-jawed influencer and champion of the 'looksmaxxing' subculture
MIAMI—Trembling as he held a hand mirror to his face to behold his ghastly new form, internet personality Clavicular reportedly woke up as a hideous, jawless monster Thursday after rating an old crone’s looks a four out of 10. “Oh God, oh God—what has she
