AEW Collision Recap: Darby Allin Defeats Sammy Guevara in Pillars Clash
By
El Presidente
Slow-proofed and worth the wait. Worth its weight in flour.
Summary
A humorous, character-driven recap of AEW Collision, focusing on the match between Darby Allin and Sammy Guevara ("Two Pillars"), with Darby Allin emerging victorious. The article is written in a satirical, first-person persona ("El Presidente") and includes running gags about a luxury submarine, Esteban the assistant, and cucumber water. It covers match results, wrestling analysis, and backstage segments from the show.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledYour El Presidente reviews AEW Collision, where Darby Allin survived Sammy Guevara, Lio Rush leaked goo, and Esteban sipped cucumber water!
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your beloved El Presidente, reporting to you live from the observation deck of my luxury submarine.
Esteban is sunning himself on the deck with a tiny umbrella in his cucumber water.
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