Cristiano Ronaldo Is Holding Portugal Hostage

Portugal began its World Cup with a goal befitting a real contender. In the sixth minute, the Portuguese pinned the Democratic Republic of Congo in their own box, fired a dangerous cross from the right side that skittered across the face of goal before being cleared, recycled the ball to the left side, and then pumped in another cross that was met by the head of late-arriving midfielder João Neves. It was 1-0, and Portugal looked ready to fly. Too bad Cristiano Ronaldo would spend the rest of the game dragging them back to the surface, where they would ultimately draw, 1-1. Ronaldo must have seen what Erling Haaland, Kylian Mbappé, and especially Lionel Messi got up to in their first games, and it must have burned him up inside. The 41-year-old's career-long rivalry with the GOAT has only become more trivial as time has gone on. Where once "Messi vs. Ronaldo, who ya got?" was one of the most hotly debated questions in sports, it becomes clearer every year that Ronaldo was never really on Messi's level. Case in point: Messi won the last World Cup and scored a hat trick in his first game at this one while re-establishing his bona fides as the best player on a contending team. Ronaldo just kind of sucks now.