Satirical piece: Trump redirects science funding to hunt Smurfs
By
The Onion Staff
Even the toaster can't save this one.
Summary
A satirical article reporting that President Donald Trump has diverted all federal science funding to locate and kill the Smurfs, fictional blue cartoon characters, canceling cancer research and vaccine trials in the process. The piece humorously references the Smurfs' nemesis Gargamel being given government access.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledThese are very bad tiny blue people, and we gotta kill these Smurfs immediately—I don't care how many vaccine trials I have to cancel.
We are working closely with Gargamel, who will be given full access to any weapon...
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