Satirical piece: Mother disappointed children won't visit for National Donut Day
By
The Onion Staff
Master baker tier. Every paragraph earns its place on the tray.
Summary
A satirical article from The Onion about a mother who is deeply disappointed that her adult children won't be coming home to celebrate National Donut Day with her. The piece humorously exaggerates the mother's emotional investment in the minor food holiday, portraying her elaborate preparations and dramatic disappointment as if it were a major family gathering like Thanksgiving or Christmas.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledI just don't understand it. I made all their favorites — glazed, chocolate, sprinkles. I even got those little donut holes they loved as kids. And they can't be bothered to come home for one day?
It's National Donut Day! This is a family tradition! We've done this every year since they were little. I can't believe they'd just abandon it like this.
I'm not saying I'm going to cry. But if I do cry, it's because I'm happy. Happy that I raised children who would break their mother's heart on a day dedicated to fried dough.
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